The Memory Keeper's Daughter

i just finished reading the memory keeper's daughter...
David died with a secret kept within him all his life, even till his deathbed..
i feel like him, carrying this secret with me, unable to tell anyone.
Sometimes the past haunts me and i don't dare to even think what will happen if anyone ever find out...
Even those whoknows just buries them back to the earth and never to be recovered again...
It must have been painful for her..
It must have been horrifyingly dreadful for her..
i cannot bear the thought of getting so close to anyone that i will be tempted to leak it out..
Anyone can talk, anyone can blabber
i remembered a teacher once told me, u have a cross to carry...
I wasnt quite sure what she was talking about but i kinda undestood now..
It striked me as clear as anything...
How i feel the pain and grief of the broken ones..
How i feel the pain of the lost soulS?

Just last2 nights, i was crying, crying and crying...
It was like i was mourning for the non existence dad, the fact i was a forbidden child, a child that has a father that is not supposed to be known to the world..i do not even dare to utter what he is or who he is...it is a dark secret that none shallever find out
i was mourning like a kid ...i was weeping like i needed some milk
i was crying and crying
but the Lord knows...
He feels my pain
He feels my guilt
He feels my longings
He spoke to me even before i asked..
He told me...to me n thru my sister..."Weeping endures only for a night, but joy comes in the morning"
and then i know everything shall pass...
I shall no longer weep
I shall no longer hunger and thirst
For my God is with me ALL THE TIME..
i can feel him watching over me as i sit her and type..
i feel like a kid that playing with her daddy watching over her...
i feel like a new bride with her newly wed husband protecting her...
That is the beauty of my God
and then i realise, the beauty of my brokenness...
He will never forsake me ...
I know that...and i can feel the peace that holds ...
I can feel his words coming alive ...the bible are his words..the bible is the memory keeper...
I am th memory keeper's daughter...